the food(s) children DON'T get to eat ("But Mo-o-o-o-o-um...!")

Mmmmmmmmm…Can’t you just smell it?  Mom’s making “Adult Soup” again kids…

Unfortunately there is only enough for 4 people.  And there’s only 4 cute little bowls.  And she’s having company tonight.  So…you’re getting…macaroni.  At the kids’ table.  You’re welcome.  

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My sordid past

When I was a kid, my mom made Adult Soup ALL THE TIME.  Okay, well, she made it when company was coming over.  Which was hardly ever.  But it felt like all the time.  I was 10.  Doesn’t everything always never happen when you’re *like* 10 ?!

It’s not like she was making the delicious dessert “Sex in a Pan,”  my mom’s “Adult Soup” was G-rated.  I still have no idea why I wasn’t “ALLOWED” to have it.  Or taste it.  Yeah, she was THAT stubborn.  (Looking back I wonder if it was because she knew if I had one sip I would eat. it. all.)  That made me want it.  I didn’t know what it was, but it smelled sooooo good.

I have since learned that its official name is “French Onion Soup.”  And now that I am an adult I get to have my own bowl of it and keep it from my kids (sinister laugh).

Not that they would want it anyway.  Picky eaters don’t want French Onion Soup.  Apparently.

So I’ve made a list.  This way I can save you the hours of research time, and you can just direct your kids to this post, which clearly states that some foods are for “ADULTS ONLY.”  Because everything you find on the internet is true.  Today only.

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Foods created for **Adults Only**:

• Coffee
• Biscotti (crunchy Italian cookies you dip in your coffee that will make teeth fall out pre-maturely) (also banned from seniors)
• Rum Balls (note the alcohol flavoring…don’t get them started young)
• Brandy Beans (same category as Rum Balls)
• Sex in a Pan (just. don’t. even.) (if you do, send me a link to your blog)
• French Onion Soup (because when you grow up tortured, you learn to torture)

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My sordid present future

To be honest, I’m not looking forward to those “SPECIAL MOMENTS” at Grandma’s house where I have to tell my PICKY EATER that she has to at least make 3 choices or she doesn’t. get. dessert.  (She usually picks:  a Bun, a Carrot and some Cheese.)  Seriously.  Never even tried turkey.  And she had a dream about mashed potatoes once, and in the dream, she hated them, so she will “never try them again!”)  Did I mention she’s 10?

So what to do?  I forewarned the grandparents.  It’s not like they don’t already know.  But I just had to address it before the “COMPANY” arrives for Christmas dinner.

Well, that’s it.  That’s my battle plan this year.  Eventually she has to choose to eat.  Right?  Right?

Because I love my daughter, I shall now conclude this post with a list of things ADULTS don’t get to eat:

• My Hallowe’en candy
• My Sunday School candy
• My Christmas candy

Oh.  That.